4 years

This month marks the 4 year anniversary of the time I almost died.

{if that sentence didn't grab your attention...get out of here, you're hard work.}

Life was super good at the time. I was happily living with my boyfriend, working happily in health care and my biggest worry was whose turn it was to pay for groceries.

He was out of town for a week and I was keeping busy. But then I started getting heart burn or something. It went on for almost 24 hours, just this annoying pain. I went to work. I then went to his parents house for dinner. And then I collapsed.

It was the worst physical pain I have ever been in, hands down. I could not breathe and I literally thought I was dying...I sorta was.

At the ER, they found that I had a huge pulmonary embolism {a blood clot in my lung}.

I spent a week in the ICU, higher then a kite on meds and with oxygen. It was no fun. I don't want to over dramatize this or anything...clearly, I am just fine. but it sucked.

You really shouldn't be getting pulmonary embolisms when you're 24, right? So I had to do a year of weekly blood tests to rule out anything genetic or underlying. {weekly blood tests kinda suck too.}

After all that, it was determined that my embolism was caused by...birth control pills. Huh. Yes, we all know it says there's a tiny risk, but I never in a million years imagined I would be the lucky one. {really, don't smoke and take birth control pills. please don't. I was not a smoker, but my ex was...and that increased my risk.}

Around this time of year, I get contemplative. I used to obsess over the 'what ifs'. What if I had been home alone? etc. But I had to let that go, because all that is real right now is today and tomorrow. I can't change the past and I thank my lucky stars that I am here writing this and I have another day with my loved ones. That's all that matters.

Thanks for reading this. xoxo