If you've read my blog lately, you know I am oh so happy with B. I know. How many times can I use the word "happy" on my blog? I know. But it's true. Things are so good. But over the past few months I have had the awkward experience of having to interact with his previous flames. It's never planned, it's just a fact of life - mutual friends, small world, what can you do? He has not remained friends with these girls, although he is friendly. Because that is who he is.
Last night, I had to sit at a table with one of B's exes. Funnily enough, her and I were friends years ago, probably even when they were "they". I had no idea of this history when I met B. Like I said, small world? So I guess, in that regard, I can understand if she felt uncomfortable or jealous last night. It was probably weird for her to see him and I very much together. I sure felt uncomfortable.
To be clear though, B is amazing and does nothing to make me feel jealous or uncomfortable. He is affectionate, he includes me, I feel like I can tell him when I am feeling awkward. He is attentive and just basically the best. {happy happy happy!}
But holy shitballs, y'all. What is up with the bitchy comments some women make so freely? I will never understand.
"Have you met his mother? No? I've met her several times."
"Oh, I didn't think I would see you again!"
"Whatever." {said after seeing B and I kiss} "You know what it means when a girl says whatever, right? It means screw you."
These are all things that 2 exes have said to me. 2 of these statements, last night. Um, really? Gosh you guys, I wish I could be bitchy right back. I wish that felt good to me. {i did whisper to B that I should offer her a discount to the major online dating site i work for. but i didn't actually tell her that. i'm too freaking nice.}
Right now I just feel sick to my stomach. It is amazing how this affects me. It makes me feel insecure, which makes me feel needy, which drives B crazy. In the not so good way. It's a cycle of bad feelings. Right, I have not met his mother. I know in my head that I should not freak out about that now, just because some bitchface met her in the past. I know that. But a little voice in my head keeps asking me why I haven't and what's wrong and clearly there is a problem.
I am being really honest here.
I started off being mad at bitchy, jealous girls and then look, all of a sudden I am one. And I hate it.
I need to hold onto what I know, what I trust, what is real:
*I love B. He loves me.
*He is the most honest man and would not lie to me or hurt me.
*If he didn't want to be with me, he wouldn't.
*I will not always feel jealous and insecure. This feeling will pass.
This feeling will pass. Right?
Post Edit: I met B's mother after I wrote this post. More on that later...
9 comments:
This feeling will definitely pass! It's hard to be the bigger person, but it sounds like you are hanging in there! :)
Ugh I hate girls like that! They are just insecure and that kind of stuff makes them feel better. For what it's worth I met my fiancee's mom a year and a half! after we started dating! I am glad B is good at making you feel the love in front of those biatches! Cut him some slack =D
ohhh girlfriend! If I had been there with you I might not have been so nice to the beotch ha but then again I'm like you and we're just super nice people who would never stoop to her level. Obviously things did not work out between him and said girl and he loves you and is with you!!! But it's only natural to feel the way you're feeling. Remember that Sex and the City episode where Carrie wanted to meet Big's mom and went to their church and dropped the Bible? I mean it's natural to freak out. The feeling will pass for sure. Just remember you are beautiful, fun and sweet - the total package! p.s. I once was at a bar and met this girl who had studied abroad in London and she and I started talking (I was wearing a Union Jack charm on my necklace that night) and she kept saying there was NO WAY I could possibly experience London like she had and went on and on about it all and I seriously wanted to slap her. It was like London was my boyfriend and she was "we" -ing them. I know it's completely different but just sayin.
yes it will pass! i'm proud of you for being the bigger person. i know how hard it can be when you have to be put in that situation.
you're definitely right on when you say he wouldn't be with you if he didn't want to be. you can tell how much he loves you and can feel it, that is all that matters. i hope that you get that feeling out of your stomach and brain and are able to keep going on with such a beautiful relationship. xoxo
First of all, Marianne is the cutest thing in the world (her London story). OMG. Secondly, you're right . . . the feeling will pass. It sucks, though! No matter how happy a relationship is (not that I'm very well versed in happy relationships), there are always uncertainties/insecurities . . . I think it's just human nature. But you are exactly right that B wouldn't be with you if he didn't want to be, and I am sure you will meet his mama in due time. You two seem to be doing marvelously, so hang onto that! I think you are both very lucky :)
This feeling will pass. Girls are horribly mean when they are faced with an uncomfortable situation sometimes, and it sure does hurt. There's no sense denying it; it hurts! And it sucks. BUT good news is, you can just sit there with a smirk on your face because YOU are the winner here (sounds mean but, hey, you know...)! You got the guy. He's all yours. Look at it as flattery that they are so jealous they have to be mean right your face to make themselves feel better!
So sad. :)
When women are insecure, jealousy is their way of dealing with things. It's also a reminder that she feels threatened and the claws are coming out. You are one of the most fabulous and confident women I know and just another to strut your stuff a little more ;)
It doesn't sound like you're jealous at all though Gabby, it sounds like they are... its totally understandable that you are uncomfortable around them but it will definitely pass, its not you that has the issues, its them and they are trying to hurt you to make themselves feel better. It sucks but it's wonderful that you are taking the high road and more importantly, I am thrilled that you are happy happy happy :)
p.s. I still get angry when I think of Thomas's ex lol and we've been together 9 years now, when you care about someone its difficult to forget some things but the inital pain of what happened disappeared a long time ago.
You are having a perfectly acceptable reaction to bitchy girls. The mom comments I could have brushed off, but the "whatever" comment would have been over. We would have had to leave. I am sorry that they can't just admit to being sad but have to resort to being mean. Jerks.
Post a Comment