Life has been stressful for me, and I didn't realize how much so - until 5am Friday morning, when I woke up with searing pain down my left arm and chest. I was staying at my bff's that night, funnily enough. I sat up, I stood up, the pain got worse. I panicked. I knocked on bff's door and told him I needed help.
I literally thought I was having either a heart attack or a pulmonary embolism (remember, i have had one before). I literally thought I was dying. I mean that in all seriousness. In the car on the way to the ER, I called my mom to tell her I loved her {she didn't answer, which was/is a blessing. she would have freaked out.} I contemplated calling my sister {but i knew she would freak out and she's far away and all}. I texted B that I loved him. I was scared out of my mind. Getting to the ER was a blur. Nurses move fast when you are there for chest pain. I stared up at the lights above me as I was getting hooked up to monitors and IVs and basically thought how much it sucked to be dying. No joke. Ugh. I hate myself for writing that, but that is really what I thought.
Long story short, I am healthier then ever. The verdict? A panic attack/anxiety.
Huh.
I'm really a stranger to this. I mean, it has been a stressful few weeks - Thursday night, I vented to B for like an hour about all my stresses and things {mom's car accident, car still not fixed, passed up for a promotion, b and i are having issues, etc etc}. But when isn't life stressful? Right? I guess I just need better coping mechanisms. Not a vodka soda and a cheeseburger. I guess that is a start.
So my weekend...I slept a lot. I watched mindless TV and snuggled with B and spent some good time with my mom. I wanted to go out with my friends on Saturday night but I could not move off the couch and then I cried in bed. I was happy to go to work on Sunday and see my coworkers that are so amazing. I'm happy to be home right now in pjs. But I still have some twinges of pain in my shoulder, which reminds me that maybe I need more help then I am giving myself.
So yeah. I'm working on it.
photo via pinterest
8 comments:
Oh no! I am sorry you are stressed out hun =( but VERY happy it wasn't something life threatening. Sounds like you have the right remedy though snuggles, friends, tears and family! Feel Better =D
I'm glad everything turned out to be ok! How scary. Sending good destressing vibes your way, lady!
i'm glad to hear it wasn't anything too serious. don't get me wrong, i have panick attacks and issues with anxiety and it is a big deal. but it can be taken care of.
i'm sorry to hear things aren't going so well. i hope things get better. xoxo
EEEKKK!! So glad it's nothing major!
i am prone to panic attacks myself, and had to figure out how to keep them at bay...and you will too!!
keep working on it, and don't let life get you down.
♥
Oh man. I'm so sorry to hear that you had to go through this. So stressful. I have had severe anxiety my whole life (it's been under control for years thanks to medication, haha), and I know how awful panic attacks can be. Mine have never manifested the way yours did--mine are usually triggered by an inability to breathe--but I know it's different for everyone.
But what a relief that you're healthy. Still, sounds like you have a lot going on, so I'm sending love your way!
I've been reading your blog for awhile but have never commented, but this post really caught my attention.
I had a eerily similar thing happen to me a couple years ago. Thought I was straight up dying. Went to the ER, tests ran, etc. Panic attack. From what I've been told, they are very common in women in their 20's...can happen suddenly and once one occurs the fear of having another can start a bad cycle.
I'm on anxiety medication and things are getting better. Just keep your head up + don't be afraid to "ask" for help :)
Anxiety is something I suffer with on a daily basis. And panic attack's are NO JOKE. Hope you're feeling better though lady. Sometimes I think we all need to just take a step back and realize we could use a little break. Life shouldn't be as stressful as we all seem to make it sometimes.
Sending you much love & positive vibes!
woww great post good luck...
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